i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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