Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
