I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Randomize