my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
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