YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
