He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
