we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Randomize
