Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
