Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
