PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
I see more hoeing in ur future
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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