I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
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