he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
And then my night got REAL pukey
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
i out mim tonsoeep
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