textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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