im about as happy as oj after his trial
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
