Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
lets start a swedish sibling band together
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize