No awkward lesbian experiences without me
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
