Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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