Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
