Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
