What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
