Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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