I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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