weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
You ever have a fart follow you around?
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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