I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
