I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
