A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
