My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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