Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
