Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
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