What did we do last night that was yellow?
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
