I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
