I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
