No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Randomize