...so i touched it.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
