Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
