So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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