Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Randomize
