when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
from now on my penis is your penis
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
