I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
