i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
