So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Randomize