Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
