Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
