i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
