i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
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