You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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