I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
