i'm signing you up for texting rehab
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Randomize
