with your own penis?
plz talk dirty to me
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Randomize
