Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
