I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Randomize
