I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
