the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
that is very illegal...i love you.
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