so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
