my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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