I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Randomize