We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
