Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
