Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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