At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
