it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
