just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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