ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
