Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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