dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Randomize
