when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
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