Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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