Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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